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Revolution No. 8

I've been waving a sign on street corners since H8 passed: "Black Queers." Responses have varied -- from honks of support to looks of disapproval from both blacks and whites. A black woman came up to me at a rally and asked me if I didn't think the sign was offensive to black people. I said, "It's who I am, and people should know."
An Advocate.com exclusive posted November 14, 2008
Revolution No. 8

"Gays should protest black people! The new conflict is gays vs. blacks, and blacks vs. gays. And black gays vs. themselves. It's gonna be great." -- Stephen Colbert

I've been waving a sign on street corners since H8 passed: "Black Queers." Responses have varied -- from honks of support to looks of disapproval from blacks and whites. A black woman came up to me at a rally and asked me if I didn't think the sign was offensive to black people. She looked around as if there were a person in charge of things like this, someone who could head-nod in disagreement.

I said, "It's who I am, and people should know," flipping it over to reveal another slogan: "We Do Exist." When I carry the sign in the middle of a crowd, it faces in and then out, equally interchanged -- a message to my communities.

"We've been going up to the church every weekend to volunteer. You know they want to sue our church if we refuse to marry them?" my dad says.

My dad used to come to rallies I planned for National Coming Out Week at University of California, Los Angeles; he was the first family member I chose to come out to as a lesbian (and then as a bisexual). He respected and comfortably got along with my transgender girlfriend, always saying, "I love you for who you are."

"They" got to him and to most of my immediate and extended African-American family over the age of 21. Mormons deviously targeted one of their most unlikely allies for a campaign of misinformation. Enemy of my enemy won the day, but I actually find the subsequent discourse regarding "black backlash" highly encouraging.

Anger is getting people to talk and making them ask hard questions. I met an African-American couple who shared their experience volunteering for No on 8 even while they dealt with discriminatory comments from within. Since we all happened to be at the same rally, we walked over and talked to Lorri Jean of the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. She was aghast, saying, "We've got a lot of educating to do in our own communities."

Instead of continuing to talk to my loving mother about how hard the struggle is for black queers, I asked her if she voted yes. “I love you and accept you as you are,” she said, “but I cannot support your marriage to a woman.” Honest, and very to the point -- “marriage is religious,” “it is representative of the black family,” it's the new tent pole for the Christian right, and it's held aloft by the moral high ground assigned to blacks by mainstream culture. It's really not a good thing for anyone, for when the backlash against proponents of H8 begins, African-Americans are first in the line of fire. African-Americans did vote disproportionately for Prop. 8, and as a community we are also disproportionately affected by HIV, the cops, access to quality education, and glass ceilings.

Somehow I see a correlation. I see ties between bigotry, fear, and ignorance -- but how do you get beyond that to love?

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Faith Cheltenham is a blogger, activist, and poet. Read more of her work at www.faithish.com.
Keywords:  California marriage  Prop 8 
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Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

  • Name: Max the Communist
    Date posted: 2008-11-19 8:09 PM
    Hometown: Chicago

    Comment:

    First, I thank the Advocate, for printing a bisexual's comments on a contentious and devastating issue for us all. Secondly, I hope we can take this opportunity, whether California's Supreme Court invalidates Prop 8 or not, to come together across racial and class lines, to really do the work that takes care of one another. Thirdly, let's form a broader LGBT agenda. I don't like putting all our eggs in the same-sex marriage basket. Even if it levels the playing field for some of us, other queers in other states are still fighting against job, housing discrimination, and the ongoing threat of violence.


  • Name: Zonderling
    Date posted: 2008-11-18 9:22 PM
    Hometown: STL

    Comment:

    Great article, Faith; and it's good to see some healthy discussion. Now is the time for solidarity, not homogenizing ourselves as a monolithic group, but celebrating our common goals shared in spite of our differences. And by the way, gay, itself, is an appropriated term! Both gay and queer can be positive by their original primary meaning or when appropriated. The latter, with its more severely negative connotations, is a sign of the progress we've made and continue to make.


  • Name: NR Davis
    Date posted: 2008-11-18 3:32 PM
    Hometown: Baltimore, MD

    Comment:

    If you don't support legal equality for your child, what does that say about you as a mother????? I am glad and grateful that you treat her partner with respect on Thanksgiving, but it's a shame you couldn't do the same in the ballot box. Prop 8 is not about religious marriage as practiced in your church. It's about legal equality and civil marriage. So your queer kid isn't entitled to the same thing as your het kid? Sick.


  • Name: Wallace
    Date posted: 2008-11-18 3:03 PM
    Hometown: Baltimore

    Comment:

    What coalitions have the gay community, particularly the gay white community, established to show who they are as human beings to the black and Hispanic communities? Are they fighting for their causes? Are they fighting and showing outrage over unfair access to medicines to treat HIV/AIDS in the black and Hispanic communities? Are they working with black and Hispanic youth to show them ways to deal with difficult life issues ahead of them? The gay white community want black people to jump right on their "queer" wagon (I hate that word and I am a gay man), and they don't want to do anything to earn it...Well guess what, if you don't see black and Hispanic people, other people do...Talk to us, stop treating blacks and Hispanics like invisible people...


  • Name: kris
    Date posted: 2008-11-16 8:07 PM
    Hometown: san diego

    Comment:

    Thanks for a great article and I admire the outreach work you are doing - it takes a lot of courage!


  • Name: Thomas Leavitt
    Date posted: 2008-11-16 3:26 PM
    Hometown: Santa Cruz

    Comment:

    What do we do now? Take our energy and put it to good use: volunteer and support organizations reaching out to communities (African-American and otherwise) where our message failed to resonate, and reach out on a personal level to everyone we know about the facts of our lives so that, whatever the next campaign is, we win. Before we face another election, however, we have a LOT of work to do to put our own house in order: to make sure all elements of our community feel welcome, to figure out language that is inclusive and touches peoples hearts, to take our known weaknesses and turn them into strengths (str8 people must see queer folks with children and not freak out). We also shouldn't forget that a lot of bisexuals and queer identified folks spent this whole campaign biting their tongues, conceding core issues of language and inclusivity, in the interests of the larger cause. Now is the time to ensure we don't have to volunteer to be thrown under the bus next time around.


  • Name: Spartca
    Date posted: 2008-11-16 2:57 PM
    Hometown: Santa Cruz

    Comment:

    Don Charles wrote: ""Rather than carry signs that say "I'm Queer" why not carry a sign that says "I'm Gay, I'm a Citizen, I'm A Taxpayer, and I Demand My Constitutional Rights?"" Well for one thing, the author identifies as BISEXUAL, not gay.


  • Name: Sarah
    Date posted: 2008-11-16 11:04 AM
    Hometown: Los Angeles

    Comment:

    What a great article


  • Name: Christy T.
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 9:03 PM
    Hometown: NYC

    Comment:

    First of all, I am surprised how people are quick to characterize her usage of the word "queer" as offensive. First of all, that was used in the LGBT community before it was appropriated by heterosexuals as an offensive term. Second, redefinition is important. Shouting that you are "queer" is a great way of proving that language doesn't have to be hurtful, if you refuse to use it in those terms. I love this article, and the ideas it represents. Unfortunately, this struggle has been qualified as a white struggle as much as a queer one. Then there is the further division of homosexual versus bisexual. You manage to put all of these together, and point out, hey kids, this is about equality, not little segments of society and their fringe rights. Thank you for the reminder that it's not about being black/Latino/white, or bisexual, or queer. It's about being human and having what humans deserve.


  • Name: Sean Graham
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 9:01 PM
    Hometown: Bronx,NY

    Comment:

    People won't believe this but I am GLAD Prop 8 went through Why because it was a half-assed attempt. I am a black, queer (yeah, I said it), 33 year old man. Not old enough for stonewall but old enough to remember the horror when AIDS was the Gay Plague and blamed on bisexuals. I have heard and seen more unanswered and un-published bisexual and trans bashing in the last 3 years then I have ever heard in my entire life. Is it because Duanna Johnson wasn't country white like Matthew Shepard for outrage? Fine. I didn't even see one black queer family on the say no to prop 8 website. Every time I walk in the city I see young youth asking for help for gay right. Always in the "safe" areas never in the "inner cities" Cool I have enough friends of color in Cali that ARE queer (yeah I said it) that NEVER HEARD OF PROP 8. That's right. Why is that? hmmm? So next time don't ask us to vote for you how about VOTE FOR US.


  • Name: FAITH
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 8:48 PM
    Hometown: San Luis Obispo

    Comment:

    Thanks Momma. All We Need Is Love, Love, Love. And hey ya'll, it feels good to be queer! Personally, I needed to reclaim that word badly. As as kid I loved, LOVED, loved playing "Smear the Queer". That game where all the boys run around chasing one smaller kid who has to run like hell before they catch them? The kid who twists and turns out of reach as they scream SMEAR THE QUEER. I was always the Queer. These days I feel I have even more rights to the word as I am indeed Bisexual, politically minded and willing to fight for my right to exist how I want to!


  • Name: Lori Atwater
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 7:52 PM
    Hometown: San Luis Obispo

    Comment:

    You are always my first beautiful baby and I love you very much. I heard a wise man say "It is possible for reasonable people to disagree". One point - they didn't get to me. I have believed for almost 30 years. Now more recently, as I said, I understand how to analyze based on sustainability and this has only made my position stronger. I love to see you and who ever you bring to the Thanksgiving table because no matter what we disagree on, we agree to give thanks. Momma


  • Name: Paige
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 6:36 PM
    Hometown: Clearlake, CA

    Comment:

    bifemmefatale- YES! Thank you. I couldn't have said it better.


  • Name: bifemmefatale
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 5:23 PM
    Hometown: DeKalb, IL

    Comment:

    To Don Charles above: The author is bi, not gay. We younger queers have reclaimed the word queer because it can describe all of us-lesbian, bi, gay, and trans. The author is not oppressing you by holding up a sign that describes herself. When it comes down to it, every single word we use to label ourselves has been used hatefully--how many times have you heard a schoolkid saying "that's so gay" when they really mean stupid or uncool? Faith and others like her are not responsible for Prop 8 because they call themselves queer. The churches bear the responsibility for Prop 8. But you're too busy deciding what others can and can't call themselves to see the real issue: division, which is what our enemies want. If we all learned to stand together for once without the cis hating the trans, the gays hating the bis, the whites hating the blacks and vice versa, we would be the legendary Army of Lovers that could not be conquered. To Faith: thank you for fighting the good fight.


  • Name: Mimi
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 3:46 PM
    Hometown: Los Angeles

    Comment:

    This is the voice we've been needing to hear amidst the victim-blaming that's been going on in the No-On-8 community. I know plenty of proud black lesbian, gay, bi, and trans people fighting the good fight. Yes, there is still rampant homophobia in the black community, but so is there everywhere else!! Great work, Faith, bi activist comrade and friend!


  • Name: Don Charles
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 1:31 PM
    Hometown: Kansas City

    Comment:

    When this woman stands on a corner with a signing reading "Black Queers, We Do Exist", she is oppressing me just as much as a James Dobson or a Harry Jackson, Jr. does! When we appropriate the contemptuous language of people who despise us, all we do is confuse society about who and what we really are. I've got news for Ms. Cheltenham and all those who share her "we're here, we're queer" mindset: Straight people have always thought of you as "queer". That's why most of them voted your marriage rights away on November 8! Instead of pandering to their crude stereotypes, why not challenge them instead? Rather than carry signs that say "I'm Queer" why not carry a sign that says "I'm Gay, I'm a Citizen, I'm A Taxpayer, and I Demand My Constitutional Rights?" If you have to explain a sign like that, you'll be far more credible and compelling than you are when you try to explain why it's OK to call yourself a "Black Queer". Because, darling, it's NOT OK.


  • Name: worlddiva
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 2:22 AM
    Hometown: Los Angeles

    Comment:

    What a change from the bitter stuff I've been reading of late. We all need to come together, not fight within. Nicely said, Faith!


  • Name: Sara
    Date posted: 2008-11-15 1:03 AM
    Hometown: San Marcos, CA

    Comment:

    Absolutely beautiful. I've watched my campus LGBTA grow over the span of a few years from the white gay boys club to a family that truly represents the L, the G, the B, and the A (still no T's joining, but we remain hopeful!) of many colors. We all try to recognize the cultural strains and privileges of each other, but most of the time,it seems that it really isn't an issue, and that gives me hope!


  • Name: Kai
    Date posted: 2008-11-14 10:27 PM
    Hometown: Santa Maria

    Comment:

    This is great, you have said everything that many of us POC have tried to convey. I applaud you and also stand with you, I am optimistic and aware of how much positive can come out of these times! I will post this piece elsewhere as it is one of the best I have read.


  • Name: Dan P
    Date posted: 2008-11-14 5:40 PM
    Hometown: altadena

    Comment:

    Really great - keep up the good work!


  • Name: blacksteel
    Date posted: 2008-11-14 4:40 PM
    Hometown: LA

    Comment:

    This is the best written, most informative and most thought-provoking commentary on this controversy that I've read anywhere. I want to hear more from Faith Cheltenham.


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